I am nowhere near where I’d hoped to be concerning my novels when I first started writing fiction in 2000 — actually, quite the opposite. My goal was ten titles published in ten years. I relied too much on a safety net so I would feel safe with my stories. Being safe sounded like a great place to live in a once upon a time world. Yet knowingly — willingly even, I found myself in a maze of absolute chaos and inner turmoil from chapter to chapter. Similar to what life hands us sometimes. I was shocked at what was coming out of my head onto the pages from the tips of my fingers, and it literally poured out of me.
I’ve learned a lot of inner truths about myself along the way. I’ve shed many layers and tears but also wrapped myself in new beginnings. I genuinely found helpful and wholesome mentalities and led to a discovery. Digging deep, I finally found my way. Sometimes you’ve got to look back to move forward. I’d go so far as to say that I’ve never felt more peace in my life because, through writing, I found myself.
Through the journey, I witnessed my son pass away in 2017 and my mother in 2018. In 2019, another nightmare, the beginning of my husband’s fight with lung cancer. We are healing and blessed to have each other. And the pandemic, something we all will never forget. I discovered how strong I was and how fragile life is, and life’s downs can bring you up.
It was my write-or-die throughout the most turbulent period of my life. When I was writing, it took me far away from my grief and countless doubts. I still laugh and cry about the characters I’ve created. I know the voices of my characters aren’t real, but I found they have incredible ideas from the protagonist to the antagonist. I hope that you never want to leave the world I’ve created or the make-believe characters who live there.
Here’s to my first novel PLANTATION HILL, first anniversary October 28, 2020, book release. I let it go like throwing a bird up in the air and said, “fly, if you don’t come back, you were never mine.” I sent it off for the world to enjoy life’s blistering truths, turbulent trials, overwhelming grief, a maze of absolute chaos, the inner turmoil and beautiful moments in life.
As the main character Tee Hart in PLANTATION HILL would say, “It’s guaranteed nobody will get out of here alive.”