The Treasures of the Holidays

Leaves scooting across the landscape, crunching under your feet, a nip in the air, and the Holidays full steam ahead. Oh my God, FAMILY and FRIENDS gathered in one room!

🎁 🥜 🍂🎄🍂🥜 🎁

We rarely take the time to consciously consider what we will miss about someone while they are still present in our lives. Caught up in the busyness and predictability of our daily routines and responsibilities, we naturally assume that their presence is something permanent and unchanging. However, when they are no longer with us, we begin to discover our deep longing for them in the most unexpected and surprising ways. It is often the quiet, simple, and seemingly insignificant moments that we end up aching for the most.

In their absence, we yearn for small things: their voice, touch, smile, and the light in their eyes. These once-familiar comforts become distant memories we struggle to recall.

More than anything, we long for their presence—the sense of belonging they brought. Their absence leaves our world feeling emptier and colder. We realize they were woven into our lives, bringing warmth to spaces now faded.

Loss teaches us that presence is precious, so remember to keep that alive with the people you care about. It urges us to appreciate our loved ones deeply while we can. Love resides in everyday moments and shared silences. This realization calls us to cherish those we love more intensely, expressing our feelings while we still have the chance.

Forgiveness—it's a topic we all think about this time of year. When we have people in our lives, conflict happens because not everyone thinks, feels, loves, understands, or needs the same things. Conflict will appear as surely as the sun rises. Sometimes it comes from people's words or actions—a human characteristic we can control. Unfortunately, the worst conflicts often come from those we admire, love, and think about most.

I recall a time when a person I admired and loved said some very cutting words, and their actions even scared me. Maybe it was anger, possibly jealousy. I was deeply wounded by their careless words, beliefs, and actions. Is the person who said these words a bad person? Not at all. But people often think they can speak however they want without consequence. There's that word: consequence. I write about consequences often. The result or effect of an action or circumstance. Pride and arrogance create a place where consequences reverberate in our heads—the unresolved, lingering hurt from someone else's words or actions. Someone you loved as a friend or family member never considered their words may have been spiteful, harmful, even hateful.

Sadly, this person's words pierced so deeply they changed the way I viewed them and think of them. It's caught in my mind like a spiderweb—not only their words but their actions. I still love them deeply and would do anything for them. I only wish them the best in life. But the respect I once held for them is gone forever, along with trust. My vision of them was tainted like a polluted landfill. It's hard to clean up after it's all been said.

The wall that went up between us many times over the years either went unnoticed by them, or they simply didn't care. I think they enjoy living in the contamination of their words. It fuels them. They never let go of their pride or tried to fix what they broke.

Actually, an apology would honestly feel like a punch to the gut—or like adding fuel to the fire. An apology from a person who lives to manipulate isn't genuine. Their actions will never change. It's a thought pattern that makes them comfortable. I know in my own life, apologizing is like a tattered sweater. You have this love for your favorite sweater, but it's worn to a frazzle and never looks or feels the same again.

I avoid this person at all costs. Even though I'd love for them to be in my life. Even wearing a brand-new sweater, I'd be fearful they would start tearing it apart. The conflicts over the years with this person are like a fire I cannot put out. With the first incident, second, and third, I learned how to stop, drop, and roll to avoid their words from tearing me apart.

The ties to this person I once enjoyed fell by the wayside. Much of the hurt over the years probably could have been avoided had someone had the courage to say two simple words: "I apologize. I tried to destroy you. I'll never do it again."

Will I ever trust this person again?

The saying "I will forgive you a thousand times, but I will only trust you once" is true. While it has not been a pleasant experience emotionally, it has taught me valuable life lessons—more than I can count. I never want to hurt someone with my words or actions. Karma consequences are the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences. This relates to God's judgment in Scripture and the tenet of Christianity that we ultimately reap what we have sown. What goes around comes around.

When I see walls come up in friendships, family, or with your mate, I never want to turn my back and leave a wall looming in the wake of disaster. To me, some people are worth letting go of to save your soul.

When a person you love has torn your heart out with their words or actions, a war rages inside between your flesh and what you know is right or wrong. Our nature rarely wants to immediately forgive a person who has hurt us. Our flesh often wants to hold onto the wound, to rehash it over and over in our minds. Then we let the hurt simmer until it boils over into full-blown anger and resentment. Left unchecked, unforgiveness can fester and twist inside of us until we become old and bitter.

I think forgiveness isn't always a one-time deal. Forgiveness—over and over—is exhausting. But even for Christians who want to live in forgiveness, it doesn't always happen instantly.

Let's face it: words come at a price. When a person's pride and arrogance are too big, and they either enjoy the fight or don't care what they've done or said, it's their burden to bear—what comes out of their mouth. It is a heavy burden to carry, so don't try to carry it yourself. Let them carry it.

Forgiveness is hard, messy, and painful. We'll probably never forget. But fight for your life to choose forgiveness because your happiness and spiritual well-being depend on it. Forgiveness and reconciliation are a two-way street between both parties.

With time, willingness on our part, and the Holy Spirit's help, forgiveness becomes easier, and those negative feelings become fewer and farther between. Time heals all wounds. Forgiveness is a journey we must intentionally embark on without growing weary of a sometimes long and painful road. It's not as simple as "giving it to God" and trying to forget—it involves intentional actions.

In the coming new year, be careful with the words you use and your actions. Let's be kinder to each other—more forgiving—because we all are imperfect and in need of each other's love.

As Christians, when waves of hurt, anger, disappointment, and even hate wash over us, we have an enemy trying to steal, kill, and destroy our lives with things like unforgiveness and anger (John 10:10). We must determine in our hearts to once again forgive that person who hurt us. Jesus told Peter he must forgive a person who sins against him not seven times but seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22).

But more than anything, it's their presence—their sheer existence—that we long for. It's the sense of belonging they brought simply by being there, a quiet reassurance that filled our lives with meaning. The room feels emptier, the air a little colder, and our hearts a bit heavier. We realize that, in ways both big and small, they were woven into the very fabric of our lives, bringing warmth and color to spaces that now feel as faded as an old photograph. Make room at the table for only love in your heart.

The series PLANTATION HILL delves into the profound story of a family spanning multiple generations, each characterized by their remarkable and everyday acts of forgiveness. It explores the themes of reconciliation, understanding, and the enduring power of familial bonds that withstand the test of time. Through their journey, the family members face various challenges and conflicts, yet they continually find ways to forgive each other, demonstrating resilience and love in their relationships and how a father protects his daughter.